Ares jokes
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
Rangers are a joke.
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Who are the fastest readers? The people who were in 9/11. They went through 91 stories in 1.2 seconds.
Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"
Orphan: "Stop calling here!"
Me in the corner.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
When you are sleeping in class and the shooter sees you, then they wake you up and say, "Let’s team up," like, what the f*ck?
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Orphans and homeless people are the same thing.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.