Ares jokes

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.

Do depressed people hate swimming?

They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression, but they love it because it might make all their dreams come true.

My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.

Why shouldn’t you call people in China?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.

Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?

Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!

Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims, they did 98 stories in 10 seconds.

Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.

9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.

Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?

Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.

Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

These jokes are old, come up with something new!

Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.