Ares jokes

People are like trees...

If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.

Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

Dark jokes are just like water.

Not everybody gets it.

What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Children are like farts.

You can only tolerate your own.

You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?

You're-a-peein'. European.

Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!

What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.