Ares jokes
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
Islamic pubs and bars are the worst.
You can't drink alcohol or dance.
Women can get stoned though, no questions asked.
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!