Ares jokes
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Not all self-harmers are emo, but all emos self-harm.
Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.
They never get old.
A man finds his son climbing the roof of his house. The kid kept using all sorts of material to climb up, but the dad didn't pay much attention.
Next day the kid went to the state tower and kept climbing using some adhesive gloves. The dad asks his son for a second time: "Son! Why are you doing this?" The son replies: "You told me to aim up high!"
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!