Ares jokes

Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They don't have a home plate.

People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.

1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.

2. We all give each other a hand when needed.

Last but not least, we play Twister.

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?

Dark jokes are just like water.

Not everybody gets it.

Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

Why are they called s’mores?

Because you always want another one!

Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?

You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?

You're-a-peein'. European.

People are like trees...

If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.