Ares jokes
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
Roses are red, violets are blue.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Dark jokes are just like water.
Not everybody gets it.
Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."