Ares jokes
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
Why is the sun red today?
The sun turned red today. Here's why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.
me when my friends are nwea testing and i cant talk too them
Why are priests called father? Because it's too sus to call them daddy!
What do you call a gay man that is not physically handicapped that performs blowjobs on gay men that are physically handicapped?
Caregiver.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.
Cheer on the rapist if you want.
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
What's the only good thing about being an orphan?
All snacks are family sized!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?