Ares jokes

What chips are you not allowed to give to orphans?

Family size.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."

I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.

Why is an orphan afraid to play baseball?

They are afraid they won't find home.

"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?

Neither can see their parents.

Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.

For instance, when you push them down the stairs.

Why can't orphans have cookies?

They are home made.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.

If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?

Boy's pants are half off.

Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."