Ares jokes

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

Wait, where are we again?

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?

Because you’re a sexy fox.

I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.

Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.

Why are orphans lucky?

Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

Roses are red, bow down to your master, children are fast, but I am faster.

Are you French? Because I Eiffel for you.

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA because all the black guys are playing.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

Are you a ghost train? Because I am going to scream when I ride you.

Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.

Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.

I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"

How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?

There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.

Luigi and Daisy are actually Aussie! How?

They wear GREEN and GOLD! The Aussie Colors!

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

The twins are falling down.

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...