Ares jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
Why are bees' hair always sticky?
Because they use a honeycomb...
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Roses are red.
Your passports are blue.
Now go stand over there,
In that very long queue!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't have a home plate.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?
A, B, C you in hell.
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}