Ares jokes

Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"

"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."

Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.

Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They don't have a home plate.

A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"

The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."

The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.

What are the sinful letters of the alphabet?

A, B, C you in hell.

Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.

Name what guns are used for. {wrong answers only?}

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

What letter is really hot? T

C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!

Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!

I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."

Roses are red, violets are blue, it's really no wonder your mama left you!

Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.