Appliance jokes
Me and Jesus are really close; he even turns the light on for me when I go pee in the middle of the night. Well, that is what I thought until the fridge was wet.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
What's the difference between a gay guy and an oven?
An oven doesn't fart when you take your meat out.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
My dishwasher is broke.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.