Appliance jokes
Pro marriage tip: Let your wife know you’re all about women’s rights, especially the right to remain silent, because all appliances should be silent.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
Why do they call it oven, when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.