How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
