How do you make a dishwasher work again? Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
What do orphans and tvs have in common? At least one of them have a home
what happens when you put a baby in a blender
The baby is a cherry smoothie
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl? The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhoea when you pull your meat out
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
