How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
"And the Lord said unto John, 'Come forth and receive eternal life,' but John came fifth and got a toaster."
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What's big and white and can't climb trees?
A fridge.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
Where do orphans shop for home appliances?
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
