Appliance jokes
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
What do you call a baby in a blender? A baby blender!
Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!
What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
"I put the tin foil in the microwave, ma!"
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
The Toaster: The best bath bomb!
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.