Appearance jokes

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.

I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.

Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.

If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.

You look good with anything, but nothing works too.

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.