Appearance jokes

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.

Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.

I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.

If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

Your hairline is so bad even your gay friend is straighter than it.

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

You look good with anything, but nothing works too.

Your hairline goes so far back, the dinosaurs saw it before you did.

Damn, bitch, you got a big ass for a head!