Appearance jokes
Like it if you judge people's hairlines.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
My sis a fat cow.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
Your nan's bald.
Wanna know something funny?
Me, because I'm funny looking.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
Boy: Hey! I love you...
Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.
*boy sent a pic of his dic*
Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.