Appearance jokes

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

Friend: Why don't you cut your hair?

Me: Dunno, but I'll probably cut my wrists first.

Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.

He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.

He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.

Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"

The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

Your mom is so ugly that when she went to rob a bank, they had to turn the cameras off.

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"

Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller.