Appearance jokes
I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.
The happier they get, the less they see.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.
Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
Big, ugly, and very weird.
This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."