Appearance jokes

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

You're tiny!

Y'all is ugly!

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.

You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊‍♂️

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

Me: Imagine not having hair.

Kids: On chemo.

Bitch the fuck.

She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half Black.

Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!

My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!

Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.

I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.

"You're fat as a cow."

"......."

"Nope."

Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.

Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.