Appearance jokes

She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half Black.

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!

My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!

Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.

I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.

"You're fat as a cow."

"......."

"Nope."

Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

Yo mama so ugly, she went to a fat concert and they said no experts allowed! 😂

Your hairline is so bad even Ariana Grande stopped singing because of it.

Your hairline receded just like your father did years ago.

When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."

I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Mike Pence's hair is made of glue.

Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).

How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?

Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.