Appearance jokes
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
My hair is blue, and I'm blue!
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!
Memes
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
Why do gay guys grow mustaches?
A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.
Yo mama is so hairy that she brushed it like her hair and put pins on it.
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
You're tiny!
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊♂️
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.