Appearance jokes

Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.

Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I tell you, you look pretty, but all you do is look like a poo.

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

You're tiny!

Y'all is ugly!

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.

You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊‍♂️

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

Me: Imagine not having hair.

Kids: On chemo.

Bitch the fuck.

She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half Black.

Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.

If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!