Appearance jokes
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Memes
Is this guy from Earth?
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
Roses are red, Violets are ugly.
Violet thought she was ugly until she saw you!
Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!
My hairline may be straight, but I’m not.
Your mama so chubby, people call her fat.
Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.
I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
I hate it when people think I'm a boy because of my short hair. I mean, what did you expect? I'm gay, of course, I have short hair.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
Hey, Mom, I am ugly.
"Facts," my mom says.
#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.
My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3