Appearance jokes
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.
Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.
I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
Your hairline.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.
Your forehead is so big, your face is on your chin.
The more they smile, the less they see.
Why is Donald Trump like a creamsicle?
He's white on the inside.
He's orange on the outside.
And then there's that stick!
Your hairline!
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.