Appearance jokes

Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

Girls with the name Carley have the biggest forehead on the earth, I mean, moon.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

Yo mama is so ugly, she scared the sh*t out of the toilet.

On a scale of 8 to 10, how good do I look?

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.

Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!

The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.

So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"

Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.

Me: "You wanna see my dad?"

Some kid: "Yeah?"

Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."

Some kid: "He ain't appearing."

Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."

*The kid laughs*

Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃

Your face was so ugly, you got adopted by a poop!

Two bald dudes were pulling each other's hair.

If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

There are two types of faces:

The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.

Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.

Why is James ugly? Cuz he do be a nerd with braces.

Why does Job have an Area 51 head? Because his head is the shape of a 🦖.

Jobs,

50 shapes head.

Helicopters fly because they are so ugly that the ground pushes them away.