Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!
Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a knife into a statue.
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"
Why's missy Shaw such a slug? Because she's obese. Hahahahahaha!
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
