Yo momma is so ugly, when she tried to join the ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Appearance Jokes
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Charlotte looks like a sperm.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
Yo momma is so ugly, Slenderman runs from her.
It's also why he has no eyes.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Your face is a joke.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!
Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a knife into a statue.
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
