Anyone Jokes

Did anyone JET my joke. It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant trough.

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

public speaking is a more popular fear then snakes and you don't see anyone walking in australia and shout look out a podium

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

Why can't you tell anyone about space? Because its too out of this world!

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled "dose anyone know CPR" i said "i know the whole alphabet"everyone laughed and laughed well everyone except one.

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes? Because there is never anyone at the door.

Why couldn't anyone hear Helen Keller when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing mittens?

What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone? -a VEGUN

A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligators mouth and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink he asks if anyone else would like a go.

A lady gets up and says yes she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

For some reason when my mom eat hot dogs she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son can anyone tell me why ?

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! Good luck 😝- “I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.”