Anyone jokes
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Does anyone else just want to die, or is it just me?
Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.
ANYONE?
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
I'm bored in class. Anyone wanna chat?
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
I got kicked off Ancestry for asking if anyone wants to fuh.