Anyone

Anyone jokes

Alligator

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.

The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."

Breath

Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.

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  • Girl

    What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?

    Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.

    Question

    Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

    Exam

    There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

    Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

    Cake

    Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

    He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

    Life

    Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

    Orphan

    If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

    Page

    Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.

    Mom

    Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

    My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

    Mental Illness

    My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

    He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

    Pizza

    Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?

    Because they were too cheesy!

    Nutella

    Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

    Forehead

    Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.