ANS jokes
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"No Way Home."
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.