ANS jokes

Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.

Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______

New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."

Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.

Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.

The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,

The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"

What do you call an octopus whose father left?

An octopie.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?

If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped.

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

What do you call an opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.

I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

I remarked, "You lazy!"

What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?

Kanye West has parents.

Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?

Because it had no home button.

Would you rather:

Fight Mike Tyson

Or

Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?

Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?

Friend: Why?

Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

What do you call an alligator detective??

An investi-gator.

Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?

Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.

When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?