ANS jokes
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?
They don't have a dad to check the closet.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
One has a home.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
An old lady walks into an adoption center, and the lady that runs the business says, "Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!"
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.