ANS jokes
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?
To try and find their parents.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
What is the best thing about being an orphan?
All bags of chips are family-sized!
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
What did one alligator say to the other alligator?
"Let’s go for an all-in-one buffet!"
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.