ANS jokes
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
experiment
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
If an orphan takes a photo... Well done! It's a family photo!
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."