ANS jokes
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Why can't an orphan get offended?
What are they gonna do, tell their mom?
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
I went to an orphanage and had a yo mama smack down. That's it.
I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.
They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!
It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."