ANS jokes

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?

The elevator can raise a family.

An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"

A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

What do you call an army of disabled people?

Special forces.

What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?

The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.

Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples got picked.

What is an orphan's favorite store?

Home Depot.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What do you call an animal that knows karate? Moose Lee 😊😁

What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?

Liam Malone.

What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"

Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

Mom: It's a pillow fort.

Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

Me: Not good enough... OUT!

If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.