ANS jokes

How are you and an orphan similar?

Both of your fathers are invisible.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."

(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”

And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”

What's black and white and red all over? An American School.

What does a pedophile call an orphanage?

A supermarket.

What is an orphan's most hated TV shows?

"Family Guy" & "American Dad."

What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?

The ant knows where home is.

My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.

Me: Hey, are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?

Me: Your parents.

"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.

The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"

The old man replied, "You're the eighth."

What do you call an Asian k9? E10

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It's not like it can tell its parents.

What is an Italian massage?

An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

What's the difference between an emo and a banana?

They both hang like apples.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

What store can an orphan never find?

Home Depot.