Annoying jokes

So I added Paul Walker on Xbox the other day, and it’s annoying cause all he does is sit on the dashboard.

"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

Akeld: All I want to do is mess with Gwen!

Gwen: LEAVE ME ALONE!

Akeld: NOT EVER!

How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?

Call her on the phone.

What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.

How are rape and an airplane similar?

The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.

Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

How are rape and airplanes similar?

The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.