Animal jokes
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Why is a deck of cards similar to a miniature pony?
They are both jokers.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
#1 BEST ALPHA MALE PICKUP LINE
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.
The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"
The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."
The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
What is a cow that does magic?
A smart cow.
What goes moo? Cow.
Share this with your friends!
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”