Animal jokes
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.
Why wasn’t the rabbit jumping?
Because he was dead.
Where did a chicken orphan go?
A foster home.
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
pop pop meow?
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!