Animal jokes
What's the difference between a bird and a fly?
A. A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Now their owner is dying.
HAHAHAHA
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
What kind of fish knows math?
An anglerfish LOL
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
Why is the koala not a bear?
It doesn't have the right koalafications.
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."