Animal jokes
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
Why was there a, ummmmm, a cow?
.......... To moo.
When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?
On Black Friday!!!
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
Why did the cheetah lose in chess? Because he played against cheetahs!
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?
He was stuffed.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?
The turtle, because it can walk.
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
What is mad cow disease?
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Who is the king of the insects 🐜?
The Monarch!
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!