Animal jokes
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?
A horse can't hoop.
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
Chicken
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
What sound do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
Meow.
What is an owl that wears armor?
When it comes to bears, of course they always give bear hugs, well what do you call them when they aren't hugging right?
Just barely hugging you! Lol.
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.
What is a rabbit's favorite drink? Hare wine.
Where do rabbits sleep?
In the junkyard outside.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
This is a classic.
Why did the Dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot Dog!