Animal jokes
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Memes
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!