Animal

Animal jokes

Mom

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

Bar

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Memes

Question

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Fish

Why did that fish cross the road?

Just for the halibut (hell of it)!

Dog

Why did the dog cross the road?

It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Frog

What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?

A frog in a blender.

Dog

Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?

Ling Ling: Truth.

Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?

Ling Ling: Dare.

Crab

Why would you never donate to crabs?

Because they're shellfish!

Dino

There was a dino at the library today.

It was reading a thesaurus.

Goldfish

How do goldfish know when to eat?

They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.