Animal jokes
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
What’s the difference between a cow and 9/11?
A cow can’t be milked for 21 years.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
You are so cat.
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.