Animal jokes
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To become roadkill.
What do you call a male cow that snores?
A “Bull Dozer”.
Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
They're blooming a gay chicken.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
A no flyer.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
I smell like skunk.
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.