Animal jokes
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
What’s a cow’s favorite piece of furniture?
The cowch (couch).
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What do you call a stupid bear?
The bear that's gonna give this an explanation, and he's dumb.
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
What is a doe called with no legs?
•" No legged deer."
What do you call a deer with no ears?
•" No eared deer."
What do you call a deer with no eye?
•" No eye deer."
XDDDDDD
Why was the elephant woozy?
Because he was trunk.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.