Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.
You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
What's black and doesn't work?
A filthy porch monkey at the zoo.
I like turtles.
Duck!!
Where??
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.