Animal jokes
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
Memes
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
Dodo.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
I searched up hornets and then said that it will leave a sting.
What did the dog say to the other dog?
Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?
Ling Ling: Truth.
Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?
Ling Ling: Dare.
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.