Animal jokes
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."