Animal

Animal jokes

Insult

3 views ·

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

Tip

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

Mama

1 view ·

Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.

Ban

9 views ·

My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Dog

3 views ·

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

Giraffe

4 views ·

Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

Teacher: 203

Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Teacher: You can't.

Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, how?

Teacher: She frowned?

Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.