Animal jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
Q: What is a clown’s favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!