Animal jokes
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.
"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
gay fish.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!