Animal jokes
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
What is small, black and yellow, and drops things?
A fumble bee.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.
Why are toads born with balls on their body?
Because they want more attention!
Why are dogs born with balls?
They were having their stick moment when they got given birth, too.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!