Animal jokes
Anime is good, like for yes, dislike for no. Comments for thoughts.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."
The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Which dinosaurs masturbated the most? Triceratops, they were the horniest!
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!