New Animal Jokes - Page 33 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.

Now their owner is dying.

HAHAHAHA

Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

Isn't It Purrfect!

A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.

What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?

Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs! Get it guys? "Devil-ed" eggs! 😆

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was the chicken's day off!

What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?

Suicide squad.

Hi, my name is Moo, what is your name? Moo.

Why did the qack go duck?

I don't know, rhydon deez. 4x2=8

What kind of birds stick together?

Vel-crows.

Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees, and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.

The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun, and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.

The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies, "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.

The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect its balls, you put the handcuffs on it."

This all seems to make sense to the man, but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."