I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
Why did the chicken cross the road? cuz he saw a chic 😉
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
Q: What kinda bees give milk?
A: Boobees.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
roses are red violets are blue if I slapped you that’d be animal abuse
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
Bruh, frog cult is besttttt!
What do you call a horse that does karate?
A horse.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
