Animal

Animal jokes

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.

Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?

Option one: Horses can't speak at all.

Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

When you tell an Asian kid itโ€™s raining cats and dogs and heโ€™s like, โ€œJust open your mouth and close your eyes!โ€

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, โ€œWow, Iโ€™ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?โ€

โ€œPop,โ€ goes the weasel.

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

What's black and white and read all over?

A newspaper.

What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?

A penguin falling down the stairs.

Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"

A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.

Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"

The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."