Animal jokes
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
The guy who discovered milk... What did he do with the cow?!
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
There was a fish looking for a great meal. He looks above him and sees a fly. He thought, "If that fly drops six inches, I would have a meal." Long story short, a pussy gets wet.
Why couldn't the horse give out a speech?
Option one: Horses can't speak at all.
Option two: His voice was a little *hoarse*.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
Why do you stink?
Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.
Hello! Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken!
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"