Animal jokes
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had diarrhea.
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Yo mama's so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.
"Kylin milks me all day like I'm a cow."
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.