Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...
Animal Jokes
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.
What did the seal say to the shark?
"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"
Why did the lonely fish get a detention? Because he left the school.
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and a cow?
You can't milk the same cow for 15 years.
What do you call a legless cow?
Handicapped and stupid and monke and food.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
Why do you not play with a cheetah? Because they cheat!
You cheetah.
No, you lion.
What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?
'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
