Animal jokes
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
You know why eggs can't tell jokes?
They crack each other up!
Why can’t fish play basketball?
'Cause they are scared of the net.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Did you know penguins can fly if you throw them hard enough? Just like children!
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.