Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!
Why don't sharks eat n****rs? They think it's whale shit.
What creature takes the most medicine?
Caterpillar.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Why did the snake eat a panda?
What’s the name of this brand? *picture of puma logo*
Them: Puma
“Puma balls in yo mouth.”
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"
If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?
Two swallows.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"
Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
