Animal jokes
Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the Mooovies.
What did the beer can say to the other? "Open me, please!"
What did the coconut say to the other? "Crack!"
Why did the jalapeño cross the road? I got spicy!
Why did the hubcap cross the road? Crack!
Why jazz, Jr. Get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the tornado cross the road? Let’s spin again!
Why did the turkey get to the other side of the creek? Don’t break a leg!
What did the bunny get to the side of the road? Get furry!
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
What do gay horses eat?
Hayyyyy!
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get on the person's face.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.