Animal jokes
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
My dog died.
Dumb.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What animal lies? A lion.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What goes moo? Cow.
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Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.