Animal jokes
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
My dog died.
Dumb.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What animal lies? A lion.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What goes moo? Cow.
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Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."