Animal jokes
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.
My name is Bob, and I am a cow.
My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.
What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
Press F to pay respects to Grumpy Cat!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.