Animal jokes

I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

A black cat will be racist next.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

This is how animals were named.

"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

"Bison. Perfect."

The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.

What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?

About a few thousand miles.

Wanna make out, Explain Bear?

What did the bison say to his son when he left the ranch? Bi-son.

"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!

Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?

How many belly rolls does Explain Bear have?

Explain Bear weighs 1 ton.

How many children does Explain Bear have?

I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.