Animal

Animal jokes

Sex

  • My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

    Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

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  • Bacon

  • Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.

    Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."

    Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."

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  • Cat

  • This is how big cats were named.

    "I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

    "Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

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  • Bison

  • This is how animals were named.

    "Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

    "Bison. Perfect."

    Tortoise

  • The tortoise can't go out to play, Or sell his house or rent it. For when he moves, his house moves too, And nothing can prevent it.

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  • Bear

  • What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?

    About a few thousand miles.

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  • Duck

  • If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

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  • Duck

  • I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

    Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

    Because he wanted grapes.

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