Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Animal Jokes
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
