Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What does a dog do in a dresser?
It pants!
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
Why did the Octopus go down the toilet?
Because he had a toilet call in the drain.
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
Why did the rapper become a beekeeper?
Because he wanted to make some HONEY FLOWS.
Watchdogs.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
