Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Animals are just... so hot!
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.