Animal jokes
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.