Animal jokes
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.