Animal jokes
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
What do you call a pig in the mud?
A Ky hot brown.
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Donibobes is an owl. (hehe look up donibobes YT!)
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!